Ode to the Bumpy Road

(To be sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree")

chorus:
Bumpy Road, oh Bumpy Road
When will you ever stop?
Bumpy Road, oh Bumpy Road
I fear my tires will pop.

When speeding trucks come rushing by
I get off the road so I don't die.
(chorus)

When your hills get long and tough
Our legs grow strong and buff.
(chorus)

A patch of gravel spells my demise
As cars kick dust into my eyes.
(chorus)

If your wind is at my back
I bomb down hills like a maniac.
(chorus)

Encouraging honks of joy and hope
Make us brave and help us cope.
(chorus)

When your winds come from the front
I bow my head and take the brunt.
(chorus)

A rifle waved in my face
Makes me turn in mock disgrace.

Bumpy Road, oh Bumpy Road
You've made my balls so numb.
Bumpy Road, oh Bumpy Road
I think you've bruised my bum.